Pepi is gone

Pepi our budgie left us on Monday morning 2 days ago June 13 (Queen's Birthday Monday), when we were away from home. Our friend Milos, whom Pepi loves, was looking after our menagerie at the time. Pepi had been very friendly and active Monday morning, and ran back and forth wanting to be let out of his cage as was the custom. But an hour later he was dead. It was so sudden and unexpected, I was left wondering what happened. He has been with us for almost 6 years. He came to us in November 1999. My sadness is that we weren't there to wish him goodbye.

I had noticed a few months ago when his cage was hanging in the enclosed porch where Kokola the Corella lives, that Pepi was quieter than usual. I had brought him into the house to be with Tutti the Cockatiel, so that he could be warm and monitored more closely. Once in the house, he seemed to perk up, and seemed his usual self, although I noticed he seemed pickier than usual with his food - often preferring to eat Tutti's food than his own. When I gave him millet sprays and other treats, he would pounce on them with gusto, so I didn't seriously consider he might be ill. He seemed to be not as strong when flying about. This was a bird who could fly powerfully well, wings clipped or not. I thought it was just because he was a bit out of practice, as we hadn't let him out of the cage much since Chojo died September last year.

The last few weeks he had been especially affectionate and tame, willing to spend time with us, when in the past he'd been a bit nervous & flighty with us. He had always been very close to my parents who adopted him for a few years, and I think he missed them. He'd learnt to say Hallelujah Praise the Lord and whistle hymns when he lived with them. When he came back to us almost 2 years ago, he fell in love with Chojo our budgie who, after snubbing him initially, came to accept and love him equally. Pepi learnt to speak Chojo-speak, saying "Hello Chojo". Then he learnt "Whatcha doing?" from me in just 2 days. When Chojo died last year, Pepi looked forlorn and alone, and never learnt to accept Tutti as a substitute, though he did learn to do Tutti-speak and could cheep like a cockatiel. Poor Tutti loved Pepi as a fellow cockatiel, never realising that Pepi looked different.

Now Pepi has reunited with Chojo, we imagine him all perky and happy again in birdy heaven. We buried his body today, with his favourite mirror and a little toy, and some birdseed for his journey, beside Chojo's grave, at the foot of the olive tree. I feel sad & hollow, missing him, and Tutti is wondering where he is.

It makes me realise that when something or someone you love has left this world, the things that make it OK to be without them is knowing that you loved them to the best of your ability. The deepest sadness is often associated with regret for not loving them enough or spending enough time with them. With Pepi, I'm glad that during his last few weeks, I'd brought his cage back indoors so he was warmed by the sun and the wood fire, he could talk to Tutti in the next cage, he could fly about again and enjoy an open-door cage, I gave him lots of food treats which he enjoyed thoroughly, and I paid him a lot of attention and talked with him and kissed him, which he liked. I just regret that I hadn't had more time with him during his softer and tamer personality phase recently, not as he was in the early days, so nervous and flighty. But it's enough to know that he was happy, cared for, well fed, not lonely, and now he's missed by us all, and will always be in our hearts.